Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Sunset by S.M. (Seth Melton)

Edmund was not like the other boys in my school. I was the new girl and far too shy to ever get his attention. Not that I was worthy of his attention. I was just some plain girl that other girls could relate to or live vicariously through. Yet somehow every other guy in school wanted to date me. Weird.

I sat directly behind Edmund in my 11th grade algebra class, always shy, always frightened at the possibility the perfect boy would somehow notice me. I preferred blending into the background like a ninja chameleon. It was easier for me this way.

Without warning, Mr. Carter the algebra teacher dropped a bomb that would change my entire life.

"Class I want you to work with a partner for your next assignment," he croaked.

Edmund spun around awkwardly from his face forward position. There was nothing fluid or graceful about his movement as he jerked like a white guy trying to do the robot. His chiseled picture perfect face glowed in a passing sun beam. He spasmed to a halt right in front of my face.

"...part...ner?" he murmered.

I stared deeply into his opal eye sockets, trying not to get lost in the abyss. I felt my heart flutter. His eye sockets smoldered a lot. It was impossible to not to gaze at this marvel of perfection, his cold skin like marble, seemingly statuesque. Bruises dotted his skin like freckles. My eyes wandered his skin as it turned from purple to brown to grey. Pieces of his gorgeous body began falling off with soft pitter patters. I couldn't help but continue tracing his body with my eyes. A body that would make a Greek god jealous. A Greek god with less than one arm and one leg at least.

"S-sure," I stammered, diverting my sheepish expression directly towards my desk.

His jaw slowly lowered as he parted his full quivering lips. "Uwaaaaaa..." he murmured.

My senses filled with the burning aroma that escaped his mouth. He sounded like a drowning rat and reeked of old-spice and year old feces. I couldn't help but face him again. His crusty eye sockets literally smoldered. There must have been a piece of him that burned behind that perfect face. I'd have to find a fire extinguisher. His cold marble body still twitching in the sunlight like some kind of statuesque Greek god that twitches. His hair was patchy, like a Greek god with flecks of marble. Edmund was like a statuesque marble Greek god. This was way better than that time I flunked English for writing a short story where cold Greek gods were like marble that played Greek marbles with the Greek gods. This was the moment. I knew it in my soul. I loved Edmund. Forever. He was my Romeo. His face penetrated mine as if he could read my every thought.

"What...if...not... What...if...eat...braaaaiiinnsssss..." he murmured with intense coal black sockets. They smoldered.

It was going to be a long semester.

A Fun Writing Excercise

"What The Hell?" (by Seth Melton) - writing ex. #666: The Stinky Demons

Gist: A room has one large window, from which a nosy neighbor constantly glares. It's the middle of December in Antarctica with temperatures below human living conditions. It's 12:30 in the afternoon on Friday the 13th. These objects are in the room:

* jarred porcupine fetus
* a mentally challenged left handed gorilla wearing a gold tuxedo
* baby's first alphabet book
* gateway to another dimension
* soap box derby racer WITH windows
* Kleenex box with one remaining tissue
* a mentally unstable cockeyed hobo who is lonely. He has a "wandering eye"...his good one


Describe the room from the POV of a young man turned half hippo (which half?) who has come to visit his wife (not a hippo), whom he loves, after the relatively painless delivery of their lasagna. She is in bed with the lasagna and everything is happy, if slightly scary, since they are young and this is a new dinner together. Deliver his feelings through the description of items in the room. Then, describe the same room through the eyes of a janitor or custodian who is visiting a dying marsupial. (same conditions otherwise). The marsupial is dying of boxing injuries, and he/she is wearing comically big boxing gloves.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Who is Meltonium.com?

The twisted minds behind meltonium.com according to me: (Seth Melton)

Name: Seth Melton
Age: 28
Occupation: zombie, dad, KING zombie dad
I draw, illustrate, paint, and animate. I also make a lot of those goofy voices and sounds you see in our cartoons. Wafflemancer.

Name: Melissa Melton
Age: 28ish
Occupation: Super hot smart punk babe
She can do pretty much anything. She's a fantastic writer, makes jewelry for our Etsy store, the meltonium.com webmaster, has the bestest ideas ever, is a great graphic artist and photographer! I'm her biggest fan (I think. Sorry other stalking fanboys).

Name: Persephone Melton
Age: 11
Occupation: Stealthy cat ninja
Sephie is awesome. She draws super cute animals and is the funniest most talented daughter in history.

I'm sure these descriptions are entirely up for debate but hopefully they give you an idea of what we all bring to the table.

Meltonium.com is now on Blogger.com!